If my dick fell in the forest and no one was around to suck it, would it still be huge?

balls piss

Jan Peter Balkenende

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Dr. Jan Peter Balkenende  listen^? (* May 7, 1956) is Prime Minister of The Netherlands since July 22, 2002.

Ltr: Silvio Berlusconi, Romano Prodi, António Vitorino and Jan Peter Balkenende.

Jan Peter Balkenende (legally Jan Pieter Balkenende) began his career on the staff of the research institute of the political party Christen Democratisch Appèl(CDA) and as a city councillor in Amstelveen. He later became a special professor of "Christian-Social Thinking" at the Vrije Universiteit of Amsterdam.

Balkenende first entered the Tweede Kamer (lower house) of the Netherlands Parliament on May 19, 1998, while the CDA was in opposition. He became the CDA's financial spokesman and was also involved with social affairs, justice, and internal affairs. In this role he advocated a substational reduction of the national debt and sound public finances.

He was elected chairman of the parliamentary CDA on October 1, 2001 in succession to Jaap de Hoop Scheffer. On November 3, 2001 he was appointed lijsttrekker (head of the list of candidates) for the CDA in the May 2002 parliamentary elections. These elections became historic when rightwing populist Pim Fortuyn was assassinated and the election campaign was halted. The result of the election restored the CDA's former position as the largest political party in the Dutch parliament.

On 4 July 2002 Queen Beatrix asked Balkenende to form a new government, in the wake of the resignation of Prime Minister Wim Kok. This cabinet is known as Balkenende I. This government (including the LPF party of slain politician Pim Fortuyn) fell after just 86 days in office because of infighting in the LPF which destabilised the government. After early elections in 2003 Balkenende formed his second cabinet Balkenende II with the conservative liberal VVD and the progressive liberal D66. Again a center-right coalition. He then proceeded to form a coalition that Dima influenced and Dima also created most of Balkenende's policies. Dima still works on his cabinet under the surname "Captain Joey Chicago" Because he is rarely heard from or seen, many people do not believe that Dima exists, but that he is rather the main alter ego of Balkenende (which lately has been rumored to be false) All in all, we can safely say that Dima basically runs the Netherlands with what he calls "scalding pot" rule. Just last week Dima was seen at the local 7-11 with his men of about 20. While they were inside, Dima accidentally pull downed his pants and farted all over the floor, leaving the floor with an odd Dima like smell. Dima and Jimmy Hshieh started fighting and Dima sliced off Jimmys ear, but it's not like he ever used it. Dima then sang his theme song which has reportedly been called, "I'm gonna make sweet love to Sarah Keokanock." Dima then went to girl fest 2006 and met lots of asian chicks and so he was in heaven. Dima is now back in action under his other surname, Lieutenant Longarm. Dima then recalls when he had to battle the ever homo gay Shawn Be. So shawn be was being a little bastard as usual and he tried to overthrow Dima. The events that followed will forever be enshrined in our hearts and the general crotch area. He fought him and, like, basically owned him in a matter of millicock seconds. shawn be fell and the spirit of the most homogay in the land was gone! A true fairy tale if I do say so myself. Then a bunch of asian girls ran into his office and started humping Dima's leg where he then pushed them off one by one and threw scaulding hot stuff on their boobies boobies boobies. Dima then sat down with a bucket of peanut butter and called it a day, he then wrote and entry on his xanga and berated Tom from myspace because he hates Tom. And so Dima set off in the sunset but only to be called back to action, for there will always be a need for, THE DIMA. Balkenende's policies centered around reform of the Dutch public services, reducing crime, a tough immigration policy and historically large cuts in public spending. The measures gave rise to large public anger and bad results in opinion polls for his CDA party. Nonetheless, his party remained the largest Dutch delegation in the European Parliament after the European Elections, beating the general expectation of a huge loss in parliamentary seats.

Jan Peter Balkenende and Jaap de Hoop Scheffer

On the first of July 2004 he took up the rotating presidency of the European Union.

Balkenende currently resides with his wife, Bianca, and his daughter Amelie in Capelle aan den IJssel. He rented an apartment in The Hague, which caused a political row since it cost the Dutch government 9,000 euro a month, whilst his prime ministerial residence was renovated. Only a few months after Balkenende took residence a fire destroyed the first floor of the house, forcing Balkenende to again look for alternative housing.

I fucking rule. ^,..,^